After Jesus’ enlightening moment he felt the need, or more accurately the Spirit prompted/drove/compelled Jesus, to go into a time of reflection. Jesus went into the eremos, the desert. The desert has a rich history in the biblical tradition as well as in our last two thousand years of church history. The desert/wilderness for Israel was her place of testing and identity formation. And it is quite clear theologically that Jesus, as a representative for Israel is undergoing a personal identity formation moment as he heads to the desert. A sort of culmination in his person of all Israel wanted to be but couldn’t be. Of course whether he knew he was doing that as the climax of Israelite history IN him and his life is what we have said is totally unknown.
The question that Jesus is apparently wrestling with is whether or not he will live from the deepest sense of calling he has been given, something that as of this is moment at least he realizes is special and maybe historic.
If you and I think we are special, if we are given high accolades, if are given high praise, we are faced with how much of that will “go to our heads” so to speak. That same is true of criticism we receive. How much of this “storying” will land within us and be restoried over and over again; one of the stories potentially leading to egocentricity the other toward a personal self deprecating outlook. I wonder if in the midst of Jesus’ experience at his baptism he isn’t facing something like this.
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