I have been contending in this series of posts that human and spiritual formation have to be integrated if we want to see the church move from a belonging to a transforming system. 
The massive exodus we see of people from the church, I think, is due to this very lack. When people leave the church saying “I am not being fed,” (the number one reason stated.) And when people leave not because they are walking away from God but from a system that isn’t any longer working for them or “feeding them,” I think we need to read between the lines.
We gave them the language that “we are here to feed you, come connect and belong, we will feed and fill you.” They come with an empty wheelbarrow at the beginning of their church experience we slowly start filling it. But there is a law of diminishing return whether we like it or not. The first time I hear the story of Jonah it is very interesting but by year 15 and the 24th telling of Jonah I am not that enthralled…my wheelbarrow is overflowing. If I came to the church to belong and be fed (because after all that is what we ‘sell’ to them we do) and now things “don’t hit me the way they used to.” No wonder people leave – we aren’t delivering the sell we sold. The language “I am not being fed” is the only language people have. But I think they are saying something quite different. I think people have gotten their fill of information but are trying to put their finger on “why am I not changing?” If I am right about that, and my research is anecdotal though with hundreds of stories and conversations, then I don’t think we have a feeding problem we have a development problem.
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True transformation must include this element of human development. Transformation in the biblical world is the metamorph word group (a word incidentally only occuring 4 times in the entire NT). Metamorphosis is stage by stage development. The inform- so I can get you to conform – models of ministry will not move people stage by stage to anything accept doctrinal acceptance, mental assent and rule and boundary acquisition. In other words in keeping with the socialized mind we looked at last post, the inform/conform models of “formation,” if they can even be called that, tell people what to believe, what rules to live by, what standards are in force, what to see. This stage of development is telling people what , not telling them how. Therein lies the crucial developmental distinction.
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Today Robert Kegan may be one of the most important figure in adult ego development and how we make sense of self, his latest book Immunity to Change is an important contribution and the culmination of a career of research and work.
Our last post we discussed the idea of self development, ego development or adult meaning making schemas… all refer to the same idea that adults have the ability well into their golden years to continue the mental development that gives greater choices, the ability to assimilate broader complexities and a posture of embracing more mystery, paradox and ambiguity.
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Jane Loevinger is one of the pioneers in the area of ego development or how we see the world and how we make sense of our lives (including God, others and the universe around us) are what experts refer to as meaning making systems. Meaning making, or the development of the “self” or “ego,” is what goes on as we learn to make increasingly sophisticated meaning of the world around us.
A five year old thinks there are monsters under the bed at night. When we come in and turn on the light and show them there is nothing to be scared of we are often greeted with the explanation that “of course the monsters hide for the light they are only there in the dark.” This is the way a 5 year old makes sense of their world. If that was still going on at 13 years of age we would be concerned. Most of us are familiar with child development and the name of someone like Jean Piaget. We are less familiar with adult development.
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